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This hour-long episode is cut down to only 29 minutes, which is much better than last week’s 19-minute runtime. We begin with a recap of Nitro and the Outsiders interfering in the main event. Security storms the ring as Heenan declares that WCW is at war.
Tony and a hatless Dusty are here to call the action. Harlem Heat managed to win the tag titles at the end of the match that the Outsiders interfered on.
-Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Billy Kidman-
This has some potential! Rey lands on his feet after a backdrop and manages a springboard moonsault press for two. Rey follows with a Mexican armdrag that lands Kidman on the outside. Rey misses a moonsault press in the ring and Kidman catches Rey with a slingshot legdrop from the apron for two. A crossbody also gets two. Kidman’s charge finds Rey’s boots and Rey tries a crossbody. Kidman counters with a powerslam. He goes to the second rope but Rey catches him and rana’s him off into a victory roll for the pinfall at 2:18. This was way too short but they did throw in some good highspots. *.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. The Gambler-
If this gets more than the Rey match I will be a bit pissed. Gambler attacks Hacksaw from behind but Hacksaw explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Explode is perhaps a bit too strong of a verb. Duggan bodyslams Gambler and ends with the Three-Point Stance Clothesline for the pinfall at 1:59. The timekeeper rang the bell early but I kept the stopwatch going until the three count. At least it wasn’t longer than the Rey match.
We recap the Hostile Takeover of WCW with Hall and Nash. It appears that the three men WCW chose to wrestle on their behalf are Randy Savage, Sting and Lex Luger.
-John Tenta vs. Robert Eaton-
Tenta has his eye taped thanks to an attack by Big Bubba and his silver dollars which led to a Silver Dollar Roll on a Pole match where the person who gets the silver dollars can use it on their opponent. That sounds like a terrible gimmick. Thank God the show had Hogan turning heel at the end so matches like that would be forgotten. Eaton goes after Tenta’s taped eye but misses a swinging neckbreaker and Tenta drops an elbow to get the pinfall at 1:12. Really? Jobbing to an elbowdrop?
On the most recent Nitro Dean Malenko was distracted by Disco Inferno, his gold record and dancing during Malenko’s match. Inferno actually goes into the ring DURING the match.
Back to Saturday Night and Malenko has words for Disco Inferno. Mr. Charisma over here challenges Disco to handle the Man of 1,000 Holds. Great promo, there!
-Disco Inferno vs. Johnny Boone-
Schiavone tells us to go to something called the Internet to see how popular WCW is right now. What is that inter net they speak of? I have to ask – will this be the first match to break 2:30 tonight? Disco dances and gets schoolboyed by Boone for two. Boone misses a dropkick and it may be over for him now. A swinging neckbreaker ends this for Disco at 1:15. Thrilling match! I know it’s only an hour but did they have to make each match shorter than your average Superstars match?
We recap the whole Outsiders incident from last Nitro where Harlem Heat managed to win the tag titles amidst Hall and Nash’s appearance on the show.
-The Faces of Fear & Max vs. Lex Luger, Randy Savage & Sting-
The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian and Meng. I have no idea who this Max guy is. Obviously you can’t see Team WCW losing, otherwise you’d have to have the heel team face off against the Outsiders at the big PPV. You have to show them as unbeatable to keep them strong going into the PPV so this should be a squash. This is WCW so what should be common sense may not always be what happened. I would bet money on Max being the one to take the pinfall, though. Sting and Meng start off and Meng misses a superkick by a mile. Sting still sells it and Savage has to break up the pinfall attempt. That was terrible. Barbarian tags in and misses an elbow drop on Sting. Luger tags in and backdrops Barbarian. A clothesline follows and Max breaks up the pinfall. Max and Savage have a go at it. Max hits a side suplex but misses an elbowdrop. Savage tags in Luger and he powerslams Max. The Faces of Fear try a double headbutt off the top but hit Max instead. The Faces of Fear are dumped and Savage ends with the big elbow drop off the top at 3:03. Was he even the legal man? This was a big mess. DUD.
We end with an interview of Team WCW. Sting says that the Outsiders are just beating on commentators and they’re in the Jungle now. Luger says that Team WCW is bonded and ready to fight since this is war. Savage, a career WWE guy, says the three of them respect each other and they will be taking the war to the Outsiders. Macho says this isn’t the Nacho Man (a dig at McMahon and the Billionaire Ted promo’s) but the MACHO man!
BUY BASH AT THE BEACH!
-The Bottom Line-
This was wretched – the longest match was three minutes and it was a hot mess. The only good match was the 2-minute exhibition between Kidman and Rey. I know they were big on the Bash at the Beach match, as they should be, but there was NOTHING going on here.
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