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I guess with the censoring being gone the Classics.com team decided to go all out for December and borrow the title of an ECW PPV: Massacre on 34th Street. It basically deals with some of the most brutal matches that wrestling has even seen. Honestly, I have some trepidation going in, but I am going in with an open mind and hopefully I can find some things I like.
---Week One---
Week One focuses on Cage and Hell in A Cell matches. Since I’ve reviewed the Hell In A Cell DVD, I anticipate a lot of skips here.
-Ric Flair(c) vs. Jimmy Garvin in a Steel Cage Match for the NWA Title-
I don’t know where they found this but I am happy they did. This took place on an episode of Worldwide from July 18th, 1987. Also, if Flair wins he gets Precious, Garvin’s valet at the time, for one night. This is a PG-13 match, suggesting that there will be blood. It’s NWA in the 80’s with a cage, ya think? I should also note that this is from the Great American Bash tour that NWA ran at the time. We start with the two of them exchanging chops in the corner, with Garvin winning and backdropping Flair out of the corner. We head to a break and return with Flair chopping away at Garvin and working over his arm. Flair uses the ropes effectively until the referee catches him cheating. Garvin works a side headlock which Flair breaks. He tries for a figure four but Garvin small packages him for two. Garvin chops at Flair in the corner and after Flair flops Garvin covers for two. We take another break and return with Flair busted open and being backdropped out of the corner for two. Garvin leapfrogs Flair but he lands badly on his knee and starts selling the knee. Garvin starts chopping at Flair in the corner but Flair evades and starts climbing the top. Garvin follows but his knee gives out and he falls off. Flair jumps back down but when Garvin gets up quickly Flair bails over the top. He gets his trunk pulled down and Flair’s ass is hanging out for quite some time. Garvin knocks Flair off and Flair gets crotched. Garvin covers for two. Garvin tries the Brainbuster but his knee gives out and this allows Flair to lock on the Figure Four. Flair uses the ropes as some crazy ass fan starts climbing into the ring. Luckily they knock that guy off and the ref awards the match to Ric Flair at 10:12. It seems that Garvin gave up. That ending looked botched, probably because of the crazy fan. Flair is attacked by Jimmy Valiant and Flair makes a quick escape. This was your standard Flair broomstick match, though I felt we missed a lot of Flair working the knee that led to Garvin’s weakness later on in the match. ***1/2.
-Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga-
This comes from the January 7th, 2008 Raw and it mentions something about Raw Roulette, and I have no idea what that is. I never saw Umaga work so this is as good a time as any I suppose. Jeff was the IC champ at this point but he would be challenging Orton for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble that year. Orton makes his way to ringside as well. Umaga powers Hardy down early, though Hardy hits a seated dropkick that gets one. Hardy tries a headbutt but Umaga’s Samoan and that doesn’t work. Umaga kicks him down. Umaga tries sending Hardy into the cage but Hardy leaps onto the ropes and tries to make an escape but Umaga slams him back into the ring. We take a break and return with Umaga working the death grip. Hardy eventually escapes but he gets backdropped into the steel cage in a cool spot. Umaga avalanches Hardy while he’s stuck between the cage and ropes and he covers for two. Orton wants Hardy done and he tosses chairs into the ring. Umaga lays out Hardy with said chair and covers for two. Umaga scales the ropes only to get crotched and Hardy props up a chair and does his little poetry in motion. Hardy is quickly felled by Umaga but Hardy ducks a butt splash attempt in the corner. Hardy tosses the chair at Umaga in the corner before DDT’ing Umaga’s head on a chair. Hardy covers but he only gets two. Hardy tries escaping through the cage but Orton smashes it into his head to stop that attempt. Jeff connects with the Twist of Fate on Umaga. Hardy can’t escape over the top because Orton is there waiting for him so Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind off the top of the cage for the pinfall at 11:34. That was underwhelming. There were a few good spots but the overall tone of the match was confusing. Was it Umaga’s power, Orton’s interference or Jeff’ pluckiness that was being showcased. It was a match without a real defined tone to it, and that hurt the enjoyment of it for me. **1/2.
Post-Script: This match has taken on a bit of new meaning since I reviewed it on Thursday, December 3rd. It turns out that Umaga died on Friday, December 4th at the young age of 36 due to two heart attacks he suffered consecutively. It appears another drug-related death has hit the wrestling world. I don’t even know if I would call it tragic anymore, since it’s a personal choice these guys made to poison their bodies with drugs. I do give my sympathies to his family during this difficult time, but I can’t mourn Umaga himself for continuing his drug abuse.
-Randy Savage & Strike Force vs. Honky Tonk Man & Hart Foundation-
This is from a March 5th, 1988 show at the Boston Garden. C’mon, Macho Man, Tito Santana, and Bret Hart in the same match INSIDE A CAGE? Are you serious? Honky was the IC title holder by this point and Strike Force held the Tag Titles by this point. We start off right away with all six men squaring off. To win, all three members of your team must make it to the outside. We have Honky battling Tito, Bret with Martel and Savage with Neidhart. The heels start off with the momentum but the faces battle back. The announce team (Gorilla and Hayes) clarify that if you leave the cage you must stay outside. Honky tries leaving first but he’s pulled back in. The heels regain control and Bret starts climbing but he’s caught by Martel. Tito tries escaping through the door and Neidhart tries to stop him but Santana wriggles free and he escapes at 2:38. Neidhart sees that the other two are occupied and so he leaves unmolested at 2:49. Martel and Hart face off and Hart is sent into the cage. Martel tries to escape over the cage only to be caught by Hart. The heels try a battering ram but they’re sent into each other. Martel and Savage try to escape and Martel makes it at 4:54, leaving Macho Man alone with Hart and Honky. Hart tries leaving but Honky calls him back in and Savage takes a double axe-handle from Hart off the top rope. Savage is double-teamed some more before Hart leaves at 6:44. Honky drops an elbow before he tries for his exit. Macho catches him and he slams Honky’s face into the cage. Honky begs off but Savage has none of that. Honky rakes the eyes and tries an escape over the top but Savage pulls him back in by the hair. Everytime that happens I remember the Ventura line about Hogan, “if he was bald we’d have a new World’s champion!” Savage elbows Honky off, and he’s crotched in the process. This allows Macho to escape over the top at 8:20 to secure the victory. This was WAY too short. The double-team portion probably should’ve lasted longer to build heat, and it seems that everyone left a bit too early. Still, this is great old-school action featuring some of the best wrestlers of the time. ***.
---Week Two---
Week Two will be our Ladder Matches. This includes mostly recent Ladder Matches, though there are two rare ones to start this off.
-Chris Candido vs. Tracey Smothers in a Ladder Match-
This ladder took place at the good ol’ Smoky Mountain Wrestling promotion on March 10th, 1993, a full year before the Ramon/Michaels Ladder Match at Wrestlemania X. There’s an envelope with $2500 hanging over the ring, which I guess is the prize here. Candido attacks from behind but Smothers fights him off and dropkicks him down. Smothers goes right after the ladder and rams it into Candido but Candido is up quickly and chops at Smothers in the corner. There’s a SMW appearance promo that is blocked out. Who was it that would’ve been featured? Jim Cornette maybe? Candido is dropkicked to the outside and then baseball slides Candido to keep him out of the ring as he sets up the ladder. Smothers sets it up but Candido is in there and a kidney shot stops Smothers from scaling the ladder. Candido chokes Smothers in the corner before going to the ladder. Smothers goes at him with a flying shoulderblock and Candido gets his head stuck in between the ladder rungs. Smothers sends him into the corner where the ladder hits the ringpost and rebounds to hit Candido in a very well thought-out spot. Smothers climbs the ladder but Candido stops him and pulls him down. He chokes him out some more before slamming his head into the ladder. Candido is caught with a belly to belly but he is able to lift the knees as Smothers tries a splash. Candido bodyslams Smothers into the ladder but he misses a splash and his knee lands on the ladder. Smothers hits another shoulderblock before slugging at Candido in the corner. He hits Candido with a back spinning heel kick and the momentum sends Candido’s head into the ladder. Smothers follows with a double axe-handle off the top before shoulderblocking Candido off the top. Smothers sets up the ladder and climbs but Candido goes up the other way to catch. Candido tries to suplex Smothers off but Smothers shoves Candido off and Smothers is able to grab the envelope to end this at 7:46. Candido attacks Smothers from behind and grabs the money before assaulting him with the ladder. This was an energetic ladder match but the influx of matches recently has made this one look terribly out of date. **.
-3-Count vs. Jung Dragons in a Ladder Match-
This is from the July 18th, 2000 edition of Nitro and it is a six-man tag match and it oddly has a running time of only three minutes. 3-Count was a boy band type tag team and we start this off with 3-Count dancing. The Dragons start to climb up while 3-Count dances but 3 Count catches on. I don’t know who any of these guys are, but two of them were fighting on the ladder and they both get pushed off. There’s a Gold Record hanging above the ring. Shannon is tossed onto the ladder and he looks to fall awkwardly on his knee. One of the Dragons suplexes Shannon off the ladder, which was propped up in the corner. Another Dragon hits a splash on Moore, Shane hits a leg drop on that Dragon, and Evan Karagias clears the ring with a ladder airplane spin, even knocking out his teammates. Evan climbs the ladder but he gets pushed of and he falls onto Abbot, looking like he really busted his ankle. So the Dragons climb up and capture the record to end this match. Like WCW in 2000, this was a mess. DUD.
-Tully Blanchard vs. Dusty Rhodes in a Barbed Wire Ladder Match-
This is from the Great American Bash 1987 tour and it took place on July 18th. I had no idea something like this existed, let alone in 1987. The rings are lined in barbed wire and $100,00 is above the ring for the taking. Dusty tries to put Tully into the barbed wire but Tully fights away. Tully tries to whip Dusty into the ropes but Dusty slides out of the way. Rhodes elbows Tully down. Tully tries to get Dusty against the barb wire and he succeeds in doing that. Dusty is busted open but he stops Tully by low blowing him. Dusty returns the favor by driving Tully’s arm into the barbed wire and his arm’s now busted open. Dusty then grinds the head of Tully into the barbed wire and Tully’s face is cut open. Dusty gets the ladder from Windham at ringside and he starts up it. Tully wisely kicks the leg of Dusty, the one that’s been broken before, and Tully starts to climb. Dusty manages to catch him and shove him off. Dusty DDT’s Tully and sets up the ladder again. Tully knocks him off and Dusty falls into the barbed wire. Tully makes it to the top of the ladder and reaches the bag but Dusty’s up and pulls Tully off by the pants. Tully finds a loaded glove and knocks Dusty down with it. He sets up the ladder again and JJ Dillon goes into the ring to knock down the referee. Windham makes his way into the ring and he chokes out Dillon. Dusty dropkicks the ladder (in a way only Dusty can dropkick), knocks out Tully with the black glove and climbs up the ladder and gets the money to end this at 7:07. This was far from perfect but it’s the brutality you’d expect from this type of match so it serves it purpose. ***.
-Rob Van Dam vs. Christian(c) in a Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Title-
This is from the September 23rd, 2003 edition of Monday Night Raw. RVD misses an enzuigiri but responds with a mule kick instead. RVD grabs a ladder right away but he can’t bring it into the ring since Christian slides out and slugs away at RVD on the floor. Christian sets up the ladder on the apron to bring it in and you can guess what is coming next. RVD dropkicks the ladder into Christian and follows that with a somersault plancha that looks like it did more damage to him than to Christian. They continue brawling on the floor and the ladder gets set up on the entrance barriers sideways. Christian is bodyslammed onto it and RVD does his spinning leg drop off the barrier onto Christian. We head back into the ring and Christian sets up the ladder between the top and the middle rope and slingshots RVD into the bottom of the ladder. Christian starts climbing so RVD has no choice but to knock him off. Christian lands on his feet and walks into a spinning leg kick. Christian military presses Christian onto the ladder and follows with his standing moonsault. RVD tosses Christian to the outside and starts his ascent but Christian stops him and hits the Unprettier off the top of the ladder onto the mat. They both get up around the same time and RVD is able to monkey flip Christian onto the ladder (now propped up at the corner) and proceeds to hit Rolling Thunder on the ladder. That was cool. RVD climbs to the top of the ladder to try a high-risk move but Christian pulls his leg out from under him to put an end to that. Christian grabs the second ladder into the ring and RVD cracks it into Christian with a spinning heel kick. Christian falls on top of the ladder and RVD sees an opportunity. He tries for his Frog Splash but Christian moves out of the way and lands right on top of the ladder. Christian charges at RVD with the ladder and RVD falls to the outside. Christian starts up the ladder and makes it to the top only to be caught by RVD. Christian grabs onto the belt and he looks to have it when RVD hits a missile dropkick into the ladder and Christian falls hard to the mat. The ladder is set up again and both guys make their way up opposite sides. The ladder teeters over and Christian lands on the ropes and falls to the mat while RVD falls onto the other upright ladder. He heads to the very top and hits a frog splash off the top of the damn ladder. This is all RVD needs and he climbs up the ladder to get the IC title at 13:41. That was an action-packed ladder match and the high-spots were really well-done. It suffered from a lot of psychology problems that most of these matches do (lack of selling) but this was just damned entertaining. ****.
-The Hardy Boys(c) vs. Edge & Christian in a Ladder Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles Title-
This is a September 25th, 2000 match-up between the teams that followed their great ladder matches held at No Mercy and Wrestlemania. Edge & Christian try climbing the ladders before the Hardy’s even get out so the Hardy’s come bounding down the entrance to stop them. E&C are sent into the ladder and that sets up Poetry in Motion. The Hardy’s then set up the ladder (split apart) and send each end into the crotch of E&C. That was a nice use of the ladder. Jeff heads upstairs as Matt pounds away at E&C but the duo fight off Matt and send him into the ladder and sending Jeff hurtling. Matt is dumped and Edge finds a second ladder. Jeff is sandwiched between the ladder and instead of just smashing into him they prop him up in the corner and do their own version of Poetry in Motion. E&C try to climb up their two ladders they set up but the Hardy’s stop that and bring an even BIGGER ladder into the ring. Jeff connects with a dropkick off the ladder into Edge. Matt heads up the middle of the big ladder and tries for his dropkick but Edge pushes him over and he lands on the ropes. Edge is still on the ladder when Jeff climbs up the smaller ladder. He grabs the belt but Christian pulls the ladder out from under him. As he’s hanging there Edge hits his spear to Jeff off the ladder! Edge starts to climb but Lita makes her way to ringside and uses a chair to stop Edge. So Christian hits his Unprettier on her (she deserved it if you ask me) and he sets up the big ladder. Christian does the really annoying slow climb that allows Matt to stop him. Matt is busted open, too. Matt back suplexes Christian off the middle of the ladder and it looks like their necks got dangerously close to the ropes. Matt heads up the ladder and Edge catches him, doing a version of the Twist of Fate off the ladder. Edge climbs up and this time its Matt dropping him off the ladder with a powerbomb. Matt’s up first and he starts climbing again, very slowly of course, so Christian is able to hit him in the taped ribs with a chair. Both guys have chairs and they set up ladders next to Matt. The Con-chair-to is about to follows but Jeff and Lita push them off the ladders. Edge lands crotch-first on the ropes while Christian actually falls outside. Ouch. Matt grabs the titles to end this at 11:22. I’m sure in 2000 this would’ve been awesome but based on the last match this moved a lot more slowly and the slow climbing was painfully obvious and really took me out of the match a bit. Still, there’s some highspots here that make this a decent ladder match. **3/4.
-The Rock vs. Mankind(c) in a Ladder Match for the WWE Title-
This Raw title match from February 15th, 1999 has the distinction of being the first ever Ladder Match on Monday Night Raw. The Rock starts with a very subdued, “Finally the great one has come back to Birmingham.” It was before it was his big catchphrase. To show he’s a heel he calls the crowd trailer park trash. Mankind comes out with a limp and his entrance is preceded by Steve Austin, who joins the boys at the announce booth. Rock jaws with Austin as the match begins and that allows Mankind to attack from behind. They brawl on the floor and Mankind is sent into the stairs and Foley goes flying. Rock gets a chair and tosses it into the ring. He brings Mick in and wisely goes to work on the busted leg. Rock retrieves the ladder and walks into the ring and right into a chair shot. Mankind continues with the chair shots and he bodyslams the Rock. Mankind follows with his own version of the People’s Elbow (called Mr. Elbow). Mankind heads up the ladder but Rock lays into Mankind’s leg and Mick tumbles off the ladder. Rock sandwiches Mankind’s leg on the ladder and smacks at it repeatedly with a chair. Rock climbs the ladder but Mick tosses him off and downs him with the chair. Mankind starts climbing so Rock grabs the chair whacks Mankind in the leg. Mankind falls off the ladder and he gets tied up in the ropes. Rock doesn’t use this opportunity to climb but he opts to just punch at Mankind. Mankind frees himself and lowblows Rocky to the outside. This leads to a brawling sequence that sees them battle into the crowd, onto the entrance ramp, and back to ringside. This time Rock is sent into the steps and Foley drops the steps onto Rock’s back. Mick sets up Rock on the Spanish Announce Table but Rock lowblows Mankind and Rock Bottoms him through the table. Rock heads into the ring and up the ladder but Mick catches up and low blows Rock off. Rock walks into a double arm DDT. Rock responds with a DDT of his own. Rock gets to the top of the ladder but Mankind gets up on the other side and catches Rock with a Mandible Claw. Rock is almost out but Paul Wight walks out and chokeslams Mankind off the ladder. That’s enough for Rock to get the WWE Title and end this at 13:00. Austin hits the Stunner on the Rock for good measure. This had a different vibe to the ladder match than some of the other ones. It didn’t base itself on the ladder spots and instead focused on some of the “main event” garbage style wrestling that was prominent in the WWE during this period. The story was easy to follow (Mick has a bad leg and Rock focused on it) and the ending made sense in the grand scheme of things (Rock/Austin at WM). ***.
-Ric Flair vs. Edge(c) for the WWE Title in a TLC Match-
This is from Monday Night Raw and it aired on January 16th, 2006. I don’t know what’s crazier, that the WWE gave away a TLC match on FREE TV or that senior citizen Ric Flair worked it. Even more surprising was that Flair was the IC champ at this time. Flair is introduced as North Carolina’s own, so I guess we’re in NC right now. Edge has Lita with him. Edge has the title on as he comes out so I guess they’ll need to set it up over the ring. We start with Edge cornering Flair only to have Flair escape and chop away. Edge fires back and drops Flair with some rights. Edge heads outside for plunder (a ladder and a chair) and slams the top of the ladder into Flair’s head. Edge sandwiches Flair in the ladder and whacks the chair into the ladder which in turn goes into Flair. Edge boots Flair to the outside but walks into some chops when he gets out there. Flair chops him into the crowd and they do some brawling out there. Flair charges and Edge backdrops him over the barricade and back to ringside. Edge follows with a suplex. He sets up a table with a chair and lays Flair on top of it. He sets up for a con-chair-to which Flair blocks by grabbing Edge’s crotch and tossing him onto the top of the barricade. Lita jumps on Flair’s back to stop him and she distracts him enough for Flair to walk into a chairshot and Flair’s busted open again. Lita holds Flair down as Edge sets up a ladder inside the ring. Edge uses this to splash Flair through the table. The crowd erupts in a Holy Shit chant as Flair’s daughter begs for him to get up. We head to break and we return with Flair in the ring a complete bloody mess. Flair low-blows Edge and now it’s Flairs turn to sandwich Edge between the ladder. Flair introduces a chair into the equation and this time Edge takes one on the forehead. Flair drapes the ladder over Edge and uses the chair to drive it into his ribs before driving it into his knee. Flair chops Edge down and Flair climbs to the top of the ladder. Announcer Joey Styles mentions Flair’s lack of success from the top turnbuckle and sure enough, Edge catches him and suplexes him off. Edge starts selling the knee now as he climbs to the top of the ladder. Edge hits a missile dropkick that barely hits Flair, but Flair does his flop anyway. Edge hits Flair with another chair shot and Flair is sent reeling to the outside. Edge puts the ladder underneath the title and starts climbing up. Flair makes it back to the ring and tips the ladder over, causing Edge to go flying over the top rope into the table at ringside. I thought Edge was going to crotch himself but he cleared the ropes and fell right through the table. Flair starts making his way to the WWE Title and he would’ve had it if not for the intervention of Lita. Lita pounds at Flair so Flair responds by putting her in the Figure Four. Flair heads back up the ladder, doing a ridiculous slow climb in the process, and Edge is able to make it back into the ring and up the other side of the ladder. Edge slugs Flair off and Edge is able to grab the title to end this at 13:48. Edge spears Flair for good measure before setting up a con-chair-to. John Cena makes the save. That was a pretty anti-climactic ending if you ask me. I wasn’t too blown away by this TLC match save for that big spot by Edge at the end. It was very slow at times and that certainly didn’t help things out. Still, the highspots make this an entertaining match in the least. ***.
-TLC 4 Match-
I guess it wasn’t crazy giving away a TLC match on Raw in 2006 when they did it a little over 3 years before on the October 7th, 2002 Raw. This was just billed as TLC 4 but our competitors are The Dudley Boys (Spike and Bubba Ray) vs. Rob Van Dam & Jeff Hardy vs. Christian & Y2J vs. Kane & Hurricane; the latter two being the champions. It’s weird seeing both Jericho and Christian with long hair here since they’ve all donned shorter cuts in recent years. Hurricane didn’t make it out because he was injured. Kane cleans house to start because he’s angry and all. He has backdrops ready for his opponents and he focuses on RVD and Hardy. Jericho and Christian try to sneak up and grab the Titles but the Dudley’s send them both off. They head to ringside to brawl. In the ring, Kane is double-teamed by Hardy and RVD only to come back and clothesline the both of them down. Kane tosses Hardy and follows, leaving RVD alone in the ring. RVD leaps at Kane from the apron but Kane catches him by the throat. This leaves Kane open for Jeff’s barrier-walking clothesline. We head to the ring with the comical Bubba airplane spinning the ladder into Y2J & Christian. Bubba puts an end to that silliness with a big boot though he’s quickly clotheslined to the outside by RVD and Hardy. This leads to our Y2J/Christian vs. Dudley Boys match-up. Spike is sent into the ladder and Bubba is double back-dropped. Bubba evades a Jericho clothesline and it’s Christian who’s clotheslined instead. Bubba clotheslines Jericho to the outside as Kane comes in with a flying clothesline off the top to Christian that sends him to the outside. Bubba knocks Kane back with the ladder and tries climbing up but Kane catches him and chokeslams him down. Spike comes in but he’s just shrugged off. Spike military presses him to the outside, onto RVD. Kane is dumped to the outside when Jericho attacks with a ladder and Christian finds him at ringside and hits the Unprettier. Kane is choked on top of the table as Jericho & Christian prop the ladder between the ropes to decide what to do. RVD hits a moonsault off the top onto the ladder to knock both Jericho and Christian down. Hardy is up and he whacks Kane with a chair before finding an even bigger ladder and legdropping Kane through the table from the top. Bubba finds himself alone in the ring and he drops a ladder on Jericho to knock him down. Bubba heads up but Christian is in there and he powerbombs him off.
We take a commercial and return with Bubba setting up two ladders in the ring. He and RVD climb up but they are blocked by the Canadians. Jericho bulldogs Bubba off and Christian unprettiers RVD off. Spike starts climbing up and he’s caught by Christian. Christian bodyslams Spike over the top to the outside. We dally around the ring until Christian heads up to the top. Kane knocks him off and to the outside. Hardy reawakens and leaps at Kane from the top turnbuckle only to get powerslammed down. Kane sets up the ladder and this time it is Spike that catches him. Spike goes off the ropes and Kane casually tosses the ladder into his face and drives it into his ribs to send him packing to the outside. Kane turns around and walks into a chair shot from Jericho. Jericho uses that chair on Bubba before eating an RVD spinning heel kick. Jeff hits Poetry in Motion on Kane before setting up RVD for the Van Terminator on Kane. Jericho is suplexed onto a ladder by Bubba and Christian is press-slammed off the top by Jeff, falling onto a ladder. Jeff starts his climb to the top but he’s quickly stopped by Bubba. Bubba suplexes Jeff off the top. Everyone’s out now and the stopwatch is just clicking away. RVD is up first and he heads up the ladder only to be slugged off by Bubba, who falls off himself. So Jericho starts his climb up. Spike tries to stop him but Jericho keeps booting him down. Spike picks up the ladder and Jericho falls over the top rope to the outside. Spike starts his climb up the ladder only to be caught by Christian. Spike tries his bulldog using the ropes but Christian blocks and tosses Spike to the outside and through one of the tables that had been set up out there. Christian starts his climb so Bubba responds by setting up his own ladder next to Christian and hitting his Bubba bomb. Christian is on the mat and this allows RVD to hit his Frog Splash. Bubba’s out, too and Jeff tries for his swanton but Bubba moves out of the way. Jeff is up and charges but he’s backdropped over the top another table outside. RVD lays out Bubba with the Van Daminator and he climbs up, actually putting a good pace into it. Jericho catches him with a chair to the small of the back and Jericho actually puts RVD in a version of the Walls of Jericho using the ladder as leverage. Jericho is alone at the top of the ladder until Kane returns to the match. Kane chokeslams Jericho off and everyone’s down. Kane sits up and he climbs up the ladder to retrieve the belts at 22:07. This was very entertaining but had one glaring problem; there was way too much laying around. Considering there were 7 people in this match there is no reason why there were points no one was doing anything. It had a fair share of decent spots but nothing that would make it really memorable. ***1/4.
---Week Three---
This week we focus on really extreme cage matches, namely WWE’s Elimination Chamber and WCW’s WarGames. This should be an interesting week.
-Elimination Chamber Match-
This is a Raw Brand exclusive from No Way Out 2008 held on February 17th. The TV-14 rating suggests blood will be spilled. If you’ve never seen an Elimination Chamber match it is similar to a WarGames match. You have two guys start inside a cage. However, the remaining competitors are locked inside a pod until they enter at certain intervals. There are no teams here, either. The four guys starting out in the pods are HHH, Umaga, JBL, and Jeff Hardy. Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels will be starting this thing off. Michaels starts off with chops and a roll-up for two, which Jericho counters into one of his own, a spot which is repeated. Jericho hits a Northern Lights suplex for two and Michaels bridges out of it and backslides Y2J for two. Jericho’s had enough and clotheslines Michaels down. He follows with a backbreaker. Michaels responds with his flying forearm and a clothesline of his own. Michaels bodyslams Jericho but his flying elbowdrop off the top finds the knees of Jericho. Jericho bulldogs Michaels and tries for his Lionsault. Michaels lifts the knees only to have Jericho try the Walls. Michaels kicks out and tries a Sharpshooter, which Jericho counters with a small package. He follows with an elbow drop for two. A double bodypress knocks both guys down, conveniently as the next competitor is released from his pod. He’s released at 4:25, making for an odd time interval. Umaga’s the next guy in and he clotheslines the hell out of both men. Umaga tries a Samoan drop on Jericho and Michaels tries to stop it by leaping at Umaga. He’s caught and it’s a DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP. Ok, that was cool. A thrust kick sends Michaels to the steel that’s next to the apron and between the cage. Umaga controls both of them until he misses a headbutt from the top on Jericho. Michaels keeps him down and Jericho lays on the Walls of Jericho. Michaels adds in the Crossface as the next competitor is called in: JBL. JBL comes in with big boots to both Jericho and Michaels, the latter who had been busted open by Umaga and the cage. JBL comes in with lariats and he tosses Michaels to the outside again. JBL lays into Jericho in the corner. Umaga pairs off with Michaels outside the ring as JBL and Y2J battle inside. Jericho hits a swinging DDT off the second rope for two. Video replays suggest that it was Jericho and the flying crossbody that busted him open. Y2J charges Bradshaw only to get backdropped onto the steel. Things slow down a bit until our next competitor enters; the one and only Triple H. Trips goes right after Umaga, and deals with JBL, too. Both heels fall victim to some knees and both Jericho and Umaga walk into spinebusters. JBL is DDT’ed for two. Umaga misses a blind charge and Triple H sends him right into one of the pods. Jericho bulldogs HHH but misses his Lionsault. HHH tries a Pedigree but that leaves him wide open for to a lariat courtesy of JBL. JBL walks into Y2J’s Codebreaker to end JBL’s chances of main eventing Wrestlemania at 13:45. JBL’s not too happy and he re-enters and lays out Jericho, Michaels and Umaga with a chair.
All four guys are down, Jericho’s cut open, Michaels is still bleeding, and Hardy is still in his pod. Well, that last one isn’t true once he enters the match 16 minutes in. He goes after the only man standing; Umaga. He dropkicks Michaels in the corner, too. He even manages a Poetry in Motion on Umaga after felling Jericho and leaping off his back. DX tries a double team on Jeff but Jeff hits a corkscrew off the top. He’s pumped, but he’s quickly booted down by Umaga. Umaga sets up Triple H in a Tree of Woe and sends Michaels into him. He follows with a headbutt onto HHH. Umaga ends up outside the ring and sees Jericho seated up against the pod. He charges with a butt splash that sends him through the damned pod. It didn’t look like Umaga planned to go through the pod like that. Umaga is in control until getting hit with Sweet Chin Music, the Codebreaker, the Pedigree and a Swanton from the top of the pod to finally get eliminated at 19:46. Jericho immediately walks into Sweet Chin Music and he’s out at 19:54. Hardy connects with Matt’s neckbreaker but he’s tossed by HHH. HHH Pedigrees Michaels to end his night 20:25, leaving only HHH and Hardy, with the winner meeting Orton at Wrestlemania. The two brawl outside the ring where HHH is DDT’ed onto the steel, busting him open. Hardy comes at HHH off the top but he’s caught. HHH tries a Pedigree but Jeff backdrops him into the ring. Jeff tries a Swanton but HHH slides out of the way. HHH Pedigrees Jeff and covers but that doesn’t end it. So HHH gets one of the chairs and sets up Jeff but Jeff lowblows out of it. Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but HHH tosses him off and Jeff’s back lands on the chair. HHH finished off Jeff with a Pedigree onto the chair at 23:55. This was a fairly decent match. There wasn’t anything about it that really made it spectacular, but enough interesting storylines with little lag in action. The double Samoan Drop was cool, as was the elimination of Umaga. It was a very good match. ***1/2.
-Elimination Chamber Match-
This is another Raw Brand exclusive from No Way Out 2009 held on February 15th. Cole calls this ten tons of steel. That may be a bit of hyperbole. John Cena is introduced first and he’s the champion. This EC match is for his title. Just like the first match, the first four wrestlers introduced will be in the pods. Mike Knox (who?) is out next, followed by Kane and finally Kofi Kingston. This guy I’ve at least heard of. He’s attacked by Edge on the way in and Edge tosses him into the steel steps. He lays him out with a con-chair-to on the steps and Edge tries to take the place of Kofi. Kofi’s done and Rey Misterio runs down to ask for help. Kofi’s out of the match I guess. Y2J enters into the match, starting off with Rey Misterio. So, Edge has taken Kofi’s place. If only it was that simple in all walks of life. Just whack the guy ahead of you with a chair and you take his place, no questions asked. Edge isn’t even part of the Raw brand. Anyway, there’s a match going on that’s totally uninteresting to start. Rey rana’s Jericho into position for the 619 but Jericho rolls out of the way. Rey follows with a somersault plancha onto the steel ringside level. Rey pounds away at Jericho. He tries a spear in the corner but Jericho slides out of the way and Rey’s head hits that bullet-proof glass on the pod. Jericho suplexes Rey down and covers for two. Jericho tries to slingshot Rey onto cage but Rey catches it, climbs up and rana’s Jericho back into the ring. Rey’s slingshot seated senton follows for two. Misterio bulldogs Jericho as the next entrant into the match is announced. It is Kane. Kane goes right after Misterio and he boots him down. Cole notes he goes after the smaller man but everyone in this match is smaller than him so it’s a moot point. Kane sideslams Rey for two. Kane goes after Jericho next and clotheslines him onto the metal floor. Jericho clutches his knee and Kane starts driving it into the steel. Rey is back up and he knocks Kane down to the steel and baseball slides his ribs. Kane is down in the ring and Jericho tries his Lionsault, only to have Kane move out of the way. Rey sets up Jericho for the 619 but Kane catches him by the throat. Rey manages to break free and delivers the 619 to Kane, which is followed up by Jericho’s Codebreaker. Rey rana’s Jericho to the steel and delivers a seated senton from the top of one of the pods to eliminate Kane at 9:35.
Rey and Jericho recuperate as the next man enters: Mike Knox. I’ve never seen this guy wrestle at all. He seems to like the big boot, since he delivers it to both guys. He splashes Rey in the corner before kneedropping Jericho for two. Knox sends Jericho to the ropes but Jericho holds on. Knox charges very slowly and is sloppily backdropped to the steel. Jericho tries a springboard crossbody only to be caught by Knox and sent into the chamber’s steel chains. You know, Cole says there are over 10 miles of steel chain on this device. Knox does the same to Rey and hooks Rey’s foot in a very interesting tree of woe. Knox press slams Jericho back into the ring and things are moving very slowly now. I guess everyone sees how boring this is now, since Jericho hits a Codebreaker out of nowhere at 14:40 to end Knox’ night. Good riddance. The five minute intervals seem off, since it is now 15:25 into the match and the fifth guy hasn’t entered yet. Edge is in the match next and Rey doesn’t even let him leave before attacking him and sending him face-first into the pod. Rey hits a springboard crossbody on Edge before getting clotheslined down by Jericho. Edge and Jericho work a mini-match, with Jericho bulldogging Edge down. This allows him to work over Rey, now. A lionsault finds the knees of Rey and Edge almost gets the pinfall on Jericho with a seated backwards slam. Edge is knocked into 619 position and Rey tries for the move but Jericho spears him down as he’s running. This leads to a contrived spot of Rey and Jericho in the corner, Edge climbing up, Jericho sunset flipping Edge which also sends Rey down to the mat. All three guys are down now. Edge is up first and he tosses Jericho to the steel. We hit the countdown for the last entrant and Cena bounds out of the pod after Edge. Cena belly to bellies Edge down, suplexes Jericho, bulldogs Edge and tosses Jericho. Cena’s on fire!
Cena calls for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle on Edge and he delivers. Cena tries for the FU only to leave himself wide open to the Codebreaker. That conveniently sets up Cena for the 619, which Rey hits, and Edge finishes Cena with a Spear at 22:19. That was quick work for Cena. He was in there for less than two minutes. And he was the champ so we will definitely have a new champ. Rey rana’s Edge into 619 position and does the same to Jericho. Jericho takes the 619 and Edge is sent into the ringpost. Rey tries a slingshot rana but Jericho catches him and tries for the Walls of Jericho. Rey manages to reverse this and roll him up to eliminate him at 23:51. This leaves Edge and Rey, and one of these guys will become the new champion. Edge tries spearing Rey but he misses and Rey rolls him up for two. Rey follows with a springboard crossbody for two. Edge tries sunset flipping Rey but Rey is up quickly and plasters Edge in the face with a side kick for two. Rey tries a moonsault only to get caught by Edge. Rey reverses that into a swinging DDT for two. Rey’s flummoxed that he can’t put Edge away. Edge tries powerbombing Rey on the steel but Rey reverses it into an X-Factor. Rey finally hits the 619 while Edge is reversed on the ropes, which the King calls a 916. Rey charges Edge but he’s tossed into the glass pod headfirst. Rey is speared and Edge covers to win the World Heavyweight Title at 29:45. The announce team can’t believe that a Raw guy won the SmackDown title but it happened. Aside from some contrived spots and a really dull section with Mike Knox this was a very enjoyable match. Edge, Jericho and Rey busted their asses during this match and they kept the high spots to a minimum, hitting only when they were appropriate. I haven’t seen them all but this is probably one of the better EC matches. ****.
-WarGames 1989-
This is one of the earliest WarGames, taking place at the 1989 Great American Bash on July 23rd. Paul E’s crew consists of the Free Birds and the Samoans and they take on the Road Warriors, the Midnight Express and Doctor Death. If you’ve never seen a WarGames match the premise is simple. There are two rings set up side by side with a cage over both rings. There are two teams of five and one wrestler from each team start off the match, going at it for five minutes. A coin flip decides who enters next (usually the heels to build heat) and after that they enter at two-minute intervals. Once everyone’s inside the ring the actual match begins where pinfalls or submissions will end the match. Bobby Eaton starts this off with Ronnie Garvin. The two fire away at each other and Eaton gets the better of that exchange with a swinging neckbreaker. Eaton misses an elbow drop and Garvin bodyslams Eaton. Garvin is atomic dropped into the corner but catches Eaton with a big boot. Garvin takes a pair of backbreakers and I think this was the wrong duo to start this thing off. Eaton locks Garvin in a Boston Crab that looks poorly executed. Eaton breaks when Terry Gordy enters in after the five-minute period. It’s two minute-intervals from here on out. Gordy and Garvin work over Eaton but it’s not terribly interesting. Dr. Death is in next and he takes on Gordy. Gordy clotheslines Williams but Williams fires back with some rights. They’re just wasting time until the next guy comes in. Williams gets a clothesline of his own and tosses Gordy into the cage as the next heel enters. It’s one of the Samoans and it is Samu. He thrust kicks Williams down and the faces literally get stomped on. Animal is in next and he’s ready to fight. He fires away with clotheslines and even a leaping shoulder block over both sets of ropes. Fatu is in next and this allows the heels to take control of the faces for another two-minutes. Animal is clotheslined down by the Samoans and they continue the punishment by dropping a pair of head drops. Stan Lane is in next and nothing terribly interesting happens. Williams and Animal deliver clotheslines to Fatu. Michael Hayes is in as the final heel entrant and he goes after everyone with DDT’s. He struts around as a lot of punches are being thrown. Hawk comes in last and he delivers a double shoulder block off the top to the Samoans. Gordy is clotheslined down as well. Eaton DDT’s Gordy, and then Samu and Hawk flies over the two ropes with a shoulderblock. Hawk hits a flying clothesline on Garvin and follows with a neckbreaker. Hawk puts him in a Hangman submission (think of a neckbreaker move but instead of falling down you lift the guy up) and that’s all she wrote at 22:28. This suffered from a common problem that WarGames seems to have. Once you have a few guys in there with the two minute intervals it is all punching and kicking and there seems to be a lot of standing around. The matches are interesting and I like how this one ended, but the main part of the match was just boring. I actually prefer some of the Elimination Chamber matches to these. **1/2.
-WarGames 1992-
WrestleWar 1992 was home to this WarGames, airing on May 17th. The face team (Shockmaster, Dustin Rhodes, British Bulldog and Sting) decides who will go in first and Dustin decides to bypass them all and just leap in, despite having injured ribs. Dustin takes off his boot and whacks Vader with it. These two will go at it for 5 minutes until a coin is tossed and decides who will come in next. Vader pounds away at Dustin because let’s face it, Vader’s big and Dustin is small. Dustin tries fighting back (still only wearing one boot) but that goes nowhere and he’s Vader-bombed. It looks like the heel team is Sid Justice and Harlem Heat along with Vader. Somehow Dustin fights back and DDT’s Vader. The heel teams wins the coin toss and Stevie Ray is the next one in. Vader is powerslammed off the second rope and Stevie (who they call Kane here) is speared on his way in. However, Dustin’s only one guy and he quickly succumbs to the duo. Stevie whacks him with his boot and Dustin is busted open. Sending him face first into the cage doesn’t help matters, either. Sting is the next guy in and the heels are waiting for him. Sting catches them with a double clothesline and Samoan Drops Vader into the cage. Sting battles Vader in one ring as Dustin battles Stevie in the other. Vader is sent into the cage and Sting heads after Ray. Sid Vicious enters and he sends Sting into Vader. Sid follows with a chokeslam on Sting. The heels triple-team Sting and nail him with the boot. The heels continue to control until the British Bulldog enters. Sid catches him right away but Bulldog clotheslines him down. He catches Vader off the top with a powerslam, just like Dustin did earlier in the match. The faces are in control until Booker T enters. The Shockmaster is on the only left and Jesse wonders, “What type of entrance will he make?” He makes a tripping joke, too. If you don’t know about Shockmaster go and YouTube it NOW. Dustin locks Vader in a figure-four as Shockmaster makes his entrance. He cleans house before wandering around wondering what to do. Shockmaster catches Booker T with a bearhug and that ends this at 16:40. Well that ending sucked. I don’t think anyone in the crowd expected that to be the finish and are shocked, no pun intended. This was on the boring side, but it wasn’t terribly offensive to the point where it was utter garbage. There was way too much loitering at the end of the match and the ending was one of the worst I’ve seen but the workers did a decent job and that’s why it gets a better than average rating. **1/2.
-WarGames 1993-
This was from the 1993 Fall Brawl, held on September 19th. The two teams are: Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton & Larry Z (managed by Paul E. Dangerously) vs. Barry Windham, Sting, Dustin Rhodes, Nikita Koloff & Ricky Steamboat. Barry and Steve start this off, with Windham firing away with rights. Austin tries sending Windham into the steel but Windham blocks that attempt. Windham misses an elbow drop and Austin capitalizes, sending Windham into the corner. Austin counters a piledriver attempt with a backdrop. Windham tries sending Austin’s head into the cage but Austin manages to block that. Windham delivers a DDT instead. Austin responds with a flying clothesline from one ring into the other. Austin tries swinging at Windham off the top of the cage but Windham catches him and drops him to the mat. This time Windham is able to toss Austin into the cage face-first. Austin’s busted open and Windham grinds his face into the steel to add insult to injury. Windham bites that wound in front of the camera which is pretty gross. Austin tries fighting back as the clock winds down for our next entrant. The heels win the coin toss, as usual, and Rick Rude is the next man in. Rude immediately goes after Windham. Windham is pounded on by both heels, including getting sent into the cage, until the two minutes is up and Steamboat enters the match. Steamboat sends Austin to the cage and sends Rude there next. He DDT’s Rude and DDT’s Austin. The crowd is literally going apeshit. Steamboat sends Rude into the corner and kicks Austin down. He rana’s Rude over and pounds away. It looks like Windham has been busted open now, too. The four guys pair off until Arn enters. Arn DDT’s Windham and delivers a spinebuster to Steamboat. That’s why you need to have the heels win the coin toss, to build heat for the heels and create tension for the big babyface spot when they make the save. That is something that will happen three times during the match, too.
Arn and Rude do a double Boston Crab on Steamboat, with both guys holding a leg, as the heels control the two faces. Steamboat is pile-driven down by Rude and is then tossed clear over both ropes into the other ring. Steamboat and Rude clothesline each other down as Dustin Rhodes enters the match. Dustin blocks a charge by Arn with a knee and a boot and he hammers down Arn. He delivers an atomic drop to Austin and clotheslines both Arn and Austin. Meanwhile, Steamboat has the Boston Crab on Rude. Dusty works over Austin, Windham has Arn’s head between the ring and Rude is in a Steamboat figure-four. We have a little bit of a lull now as the penultimate heel enters the match. Larry enters the match and he’s met by Dustin. For some reason Medusa starts climbing the cage at this point and she drops a phone through the cage to Arn. Arn knocks out all the faces with it as Sting chases Medusa off the cage. The heels are in control until Sting enters. He press slams Rude into the top of the cage before dropping him down. He sends Arn into the cage, backdrops Austin into the cage, and grinds the head of Arn (who is now cut open) into the cage. Everyone seems centered in one ring. Austin clotheslines Dustin down as Larry and Windham knock each other out. Rude has his head sandwiched between the two rings as our next and final heel enters: Bobby Eaton. The Dangerous Alliance has loosened the turnbuckle which results in the top rope being extremely loose. Nikita is the last man in and I guess there was a question as to whether he’d be loyal to his teammates or not. Nikita goes after Arn before staring down Sting. He lifts Sting up but pushes him out of the Way when Austin and Arn charge. Sting and Nikita follow with clotheslines of their own before hugging it out in the ring. Well, there’s your answer. Sting puts the Scorpion Deathlock on Arn only to be saved by Eaton. The turnbuckle is completely off now, as Windham locks the figure four on Larry. Rude breaks that and it’s like a Royal Rumble with too many guys in the ring. There’s a lot of punching and kicking. Eaton grabs the broken turnbuckle and they intend to use the steel hook on Sting. Sting moves and it is Eaton that is caught in the shoulder. Sting grabs an armbar that works the shoulder and Eaton calls it quits at 23:27. This was a very well executed WarGames match. I loved the psychology that ended the match. This was harmed by the usual problems (dull moments when everyone’s in the ring) but you could easily follow the storyline and it never felt like it was overbearingly boring. ****.
-WarGames 1998-
This was probably one of the last WarGames held, and potentially one of the worst when you look at the participants involved. This aired on September 13th, 1998 at that year’s Fall Brawl. There are 5 minutes between entrances here. We have Bret Hart and DDP starting this one off. DDP tries for a quick pinfall but Bret kicks out at two. Bret responds with a slap to the face. DDP hits a belly to belly for two. Hart drops DDP onto the top turnbuckle in response before DDT’ing him. Hart hits a backbreaker for two, but there was a long pause after the two count and when DDP actually kicked out. DDP sneaks in a small package for two. Hart is clotheslined down as the next man enters. It’s Stevie Ray. He immediately comes down and kicks DDP off of Hart. He stomps at him and the clock shows that the next guy will enter in two minutes. Sting is out next and Stevie Ray waits for him at the door. Sting fires back and he hits a Stinger Splash on him by going over the ropes of one ring onto the other. Sting continues splashing Stevie Ray against the cage before missing the third time. Roddy Piper is the next man out and his response is lukewarm. He goes after both Ray and Hart, and even Page. Roddy pokes Hart in the eyes and bites Ray’s nose. Man, this match just took a turn for the worse. Roddy even unleashes the double noggin knocker. This can’t get any worse. Piper literally killed all the heat for this match. Lex Luger is the next guy out and nothing happens for two minutes before Kevin Nash comes out. I have no idea who is on whose team. Nash goes after Piper as the rest of the guys are noticeably absent. Hogan sneaks down to ringside and into the ring, knocking out Nash and Piper. Meanwhile, Luger has the Torture Rack on Hart. Hogan cuts them all down with brass knuckles or something. Everyone’s down, except Hogan and Ray. Hogan leg drops Nash and stands in the ring doing nothing. Hogan covers but the ring starts to fill with smoke. By the time the smoke clears, the Warrior is in the ring. That entrance is for naught as Hogan clotheslines him from behind. The smoke erupts again and this time the Warrior is gone. The Warrior runs down from the ring and he cleans house. Hogan bails from the cage and they lock Ray and Warrior inside the cage. All the other wrestlers are STILL knocked out from Hogan’s dreaded right. Warrior kicks his way out of the cage and chases after Hogan, catching him on the entry way. Security pulls them apart for some reason. The rest of the wrestlers finally decide to revive, with DDP hitting Diamond Cutter on Stevie Ray to end this at 20:04. This was actually fun to watch, until Piper came in. Once he came in it was nothing but downhill, and throw in the ridiculousness of the Warrior and you have a terrible WarGames. This was all about Hogan and Warrior, and unfortunately they were the last two guys, rendering the rest of the match pointless. ½*.
-Triple Cage Match-
This WCW exclusive match took place on September 4th, 2000 on Nitro and I think I know the ending of this match if it’s the one I remember. We just start off right away with Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett for the WCW Title in a Wargames match. Sting clotheslines Jarrett to the outside and he sends him into the cage. The winner of the match must climb to the top of the third cage and grab the title, bring it down, and exit, in order to win. Scott Steiner runs in with a faceguard and pulls Sting down who was trying to climb to the second cage. They use a ladder to drive Sting off and Sting crotches himself. Sting is sent into the corner (with a ladder waiting there) as Steiner sets up a ladder to reach the second tier. There are new entries every two minutes and the newest entry is both members of Kronik. Steiner is on the second tier and he finds bolt cutters up there. He opens up the door on the second tier, though he’s having some trouble with that. Kronik gets up to the second tier to stop Steiner in his tracks. Vince Russo is the next man out, complete with a hockey helmet and a Devils jersey. Sting and Jarrett continue to battle inside the ring as the Harris Boys, who came down with Russo, try to take out Kronik. They do some senseless brawling as Sting delivers a Stinger Splash to Russo inside the ring before putting him in the Scorpion Death Lock. Nash is out next and he immediately walks into a Stinger Splash. He avoids a second one and chokeslams Sting. He is about to do the same to Russo but Steiner and JJ prevent him so they can team up and take out Sting. Meanwhile, Kronik and the Harris Boys are brawling into the crowd. Nash starts turning on his teammates as Booker T makes his entrance. I have no idea who the teams are, and no one on the announce team has really told us. Booker delivers axe kicks to Steiner, JJ and Russo but Nash is bigger than him so he casually boots him down. Goldberg is the last one down but he’s double teamed by JJ and Steiner. Luckily Russo is in the ring and he whacks him with a baseball bat. Booker T makes his escape and he climbs to the second tier. Goldberg gets handcuffed to the ropes and he’s out of it for now. Booker finds his way all the way to the top and he unhooks the title. He has to come down now to get the title, but JJ and Steiner are waiting for him on the second tier, with Nash waiting by the door. Sting is on the second tier, too, but he’s handcuffed to the cage, too. Booker takes a guitar shot from JJ and he’s handcuffed to the cage, too. Steiner drops the belt to the first level where he taunts Goldberg with it. The Cat runs out and superkicks Russo. He holds the belt up in celebration only to get powerbombed down. Goldberg breaks out of the handcuffs and he cleans house. Goldberg grabs the title and prepares to make his exit. He takes his time, getting stopped by Bret Hart at the cage. Bret slams the door onto Goldberg and they drag him and the title back into the ring. Russo holds the title as he and Nash celebrate. We’ve been swerved! Nash walks out with the title at 18:46, doing basically no work. This was just an utter mess, but that’s what WCW was like at the time. As someone watching it years later I had no idea who was on whose team, but then I feel the announcers and even WCW had no idea, either. This one was just boring from start to finish. *.
---Week Four---
I don’t know exactly what to call this week’s theme except a hodgepodge of Hardcore type matches. I don’t think the stars will be flying out of this rater’s keyboard this week.
-The Big Show(c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock for the WWE Hardcore Title-
This is from the February 26th, 2001 episode of Raw which means I must’ve watched this one live. I have no recollection of it. Big Show clotheslines both Rock and Angle down. Wow, there’s a lot of bleeping already, taking out all the WWF’s that used to be in there. That’s why you don’t see a lot of things from 1998-2003 because there would be way too much blurring. The blurring job done here was pretty good, you can barely see it. This is much better than the earliest DVD releases with the blurring. Rock goes after the Big Show only to get German Suplexed by Angle. Angle tries to knock down the Giant but he’s having no success. Angle does run into a clothesline from the Rock. The Big Show responds by tossing Rock to the outside and slamming him into the announce table. He charges with the Rock on his shoulders but Rock gets free and Show charges himself into the steps. This allows Angle to attack Rock from behind. Angle brings Rocky into the ring where he continues to stomp at him. Rock legdrags Angle over and puts him in the Sharpshooter. Big Show breaks up that submission with as clothesline. Big Show is the hardcore champ here, which is nice for them to tell me because I had no idea. Rock walks into a chokeslam attempt but Rock breaks with a kick to the groin. Angle tries to suplex Big Show for some reason, but Rock joins in and it’s a double suplex to the Big Show. Angle celebrates and Rocky just stares him down and clotheslines him to the outside. Rocky and Angle brawl on the outside as Steve Blackman runs in with a kendo stick and covers Big Show for two. Hardcore Holly runs out with garbage can lids and smacks Show with them for another pinfall attempt that the Big Show walks out of. Albert runs down and kicks Big Show down for two. This draws out Perry Saturn and Billy Gunn. He uses a baseball bat to send Show to the outside. Meanwhile, Albert clotheslines Saturn down inside the ring. This was during the very hectic 24/7 rules for the Hardcore Title, where the title was on the line 24 hours a day, seven days a week and it could be lost any time. Big Show makes his way to the entrance ramp where he easily takes out three of his competitors. Essa Rios tries a dive off the stage only to get slammed down. Crash Holly does the same and he gets the same result. Hardcore finds a fire extinguisher backstage as Angle, Albert and Saturn work over the Rock inside the ring. Hardcore Holly gets sent through a table off-screen as the one camera-man can’t possibly catch everything. This thing ends with the Big Show places Essa Rios on a wall and the ref counts the pinfall at 8:00. That was a mess. It was wildly entertaining, but an utter mess. This is one of the more fun hardcore title matches I remember. **1/2.
-Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy in a Falls Count Anywhere Match-
This is from the October 3rd, 2002 SmackDown, another match I saw live but don’t remember. Matt is overmatched to start, and he gets set up on the apron and Taker legdrops him. He tosses him over to the are with the ringbell before tossing him onto the announce table. Taker sets up a chokeslam on top of the table but Matt low blows him to break. He tries a Twist of Fate only to get shoved off by the Undertaker. Undertake clotheslines Matt into the crowd where they brawl. Matt tosses water into Taker’s face and runs off. Taker runs after him into the locker room. Matt flies out of nowhere to attack but that’s useless as Taker just lays down Matt with rights. Matt runs off saying we’ll meet again. Unfortunately he runs into a corner and he can’t escape. He climbs over a fence and Lesnar comes out and attacks Taker from behind. Brock and Taker were feuding at the time. Matt attacks from behind again and now Taker is up against two men. Lesnar F5’s Taker onto a pallet with popcorn and Matt picks up the pinfall at 4:46. Taker tries getting up so Lesnar slams a propane tank into the Undertaker’s hand. This wasn’t much of a match. It was senseless brawling that set up the Brock/Taker match. *.
-APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl-
I seem to recall this one, too. This took place at WWE Vengeance 2003, held on July 27th, 2003, four years before my marriage. Funaki interviews the APA and how the Brooklyn Brawler got involved in the match. The APA invite Funaki to the brawl. There’s an Easter Bunny hopping around, too. So the bar is set up at ringside. It looks like we have the APA, the Basham Brothers, Brooklyn Brawler, the FBI (Full-Blooded Italians), Spanky, the Easter Bunny, Matt Hardy Version 1.0 (w/Matt Facts!) & Shannon Moore, Brother Love, Doink, Orlando Jordan, Stevie Richards, Sean O’Haire, Kanyon and some others I can’t make out or remember. This is going to be a mess. Bradshaw says there are no rules except that the last man drinking wins. Brother Love gets on the mic and he knocks out two guys with a bar stool. Basically people fight, Spanky is tossed off into a table, Doink gets knocked out by the Brawler and this is just chaos. Shannon Moore hits a moonsault off the top of the ramp onto Stasiak before getting taken out by Brother Love. Nunzio is thrown into the liquor armoire, the Easter Bunny is tossed through a window, Matt legdrops Basham and someone else through a table but it doesn’t break so Matt does it again, and again the table doesn’t break. Oops. We’re down to Bradshaw and Funaki, but Funaki passes out from alcohol and Bradshaw celebrates. He turns around to see Brother Love still around. Bradshaw knocks him out to end this at 4:30. The winner is Bradwhaw. That was a mess. It had its moments but it was never meant to be a real match and just a way to use 11 minutes on a PPV. **.
-Junkyard Invitational-
This was a WCW creation and it took place at the 1999 Bash at the Beach held on July 11th, 1999. This will be an even bigger mess than the APA Invitational Brawl. First of all, you can’t see a damn thing since the only real lighting is provided by a helicopter spotlight. The winner will be the first person to climb over a gate of some sort. Some one’s electrocuted and I have no idea who is even in this match. Brian Knobbs is here (and he falls onto an ambulance), Silver King (who follows with a splash), Jerry Flynn, Sandman (who issued the challenge), both members of Public Enemy, Steven Regal, Hugh Morrus, Fit Finlay, Dave Taylor and I guess others. I can’t see what’s going on and neither can the announcers. Whose bright idea was it do not have any lighting for this? I ask that and then I remember this is WCW. This is all brawling, punching, kicking, and falling on top of cars. Mikey Whipwreck and Ciclope are also in this match, too. Some one is put into a car and it’s put in a car-smasher. This is crap. Fit Finlay manages to exit over the cage to win this after he escaped from said car and the car exploded. This was horrendous. I can’t begin to describe to you how terrible this was and how much time I wasted watching this. The 15 minutes felt like 15 hours. DUD, and only because I don’t give negative ratings.
-Eddie Guerrero(c) vs. Dean Malenko for the US Title-
This is a No-DQ match from WCW Uncensored 1997. The date on the WWE website is wrong, but a quick Wikipedia check shows it was held on March 16th. This should be a step-up from the last match. The two shove it out to start with Eddie shoulderblocking Malenko down. Guerrero wraps Malenko in a headlock and pounds at his head, sort of like Nolan Ryan did to Robin Ventura. Malenko breaks and responds with a shoulderblock of his own. That sends Eddie to the outside. Eddie takes a breather before re-entering into the ring. Malenko stomps at Eddie in the corner (with Dusty whipping out the mudhole reference). Malenko suplexes Eddie and trash talks him as he’s down on the mat. Guerrero doesn’t like that and so he stomps a mudhole into Malenko, with Dusty giving a monologue about mudholes. Eddie charges Malenko and he’s slung into the corner. Malenko hooks on a half crab as we look into the locker room with Rick Steiner getting knocked out by the New World Order. Malenko works the leg and covers for two. Malenko tosses Eddie over the top to the outside. That would usually be a DQ but this is no-DQ. Malenko brings the US Belt into the ring and slams it into Eddie’s ribs. Malenko lariats Guerrero down for two. Malenko tries another lariat but Guerrero catches him and side suplexes him down. It’s time for Guerrero to get into Malenko’s face. He steps on his face and dropkicks Malenko’s leg. Guerrero slams the leg into the apron before heading upstairs and hits an axe-handle on the knee. Guerrero stomps at the knee and does a slingshot splash onto it. Guerrero continues working the leg as we see Rick Steiner getting taken away on a stretcher in the back. Malenko reverses an Irish Whip and he sends Guerrero to the steel barricade. Malenko has trouble getting up and this allows Guerrero to dropkick the knee. Guerrero puts Malenko in a figure-four. When Malenko doesn’t tap Eddie uses forearms to soften him up. Eddie tries a slingshot splash but he lands on his feet and baseball slides Malenko, who exited to the outside just before, into the barricade. Eddie heads to the top and leaps at Malenko but Malenko side-steps him and Guerrero’s ribs hit the barricade. Malenko brings Eddie back in and work on the arm and shoulder but Eddie shrugs that off and hits a backbreaker on Malenko. He follows with a powerbomb into a bridge for two. Malenko low blows Guerrero so Guerrero responds and small packages Malenko for two. Eddie runs into a powerslam and Malenko heads upstairs. Malenko hits a frog splash and covers but he picks up Eddie at two. Malenko tries a powerbomb but Eddie headscissors out of it. Guerrero runs into a tilt-a-whirl slam. Eddie tries an Oklahoma Roll for two. Malenko connects with a German suplex for two. Guerrero responds with a Tornado DDT off the second rope. He doesn’t cover but instead puts Malenko in the Texas Cloverleaf. Syxx makes his way to ringside and steals the US title belt. Eddie catches Syxx by the hair to get the belt but he tosses the video camera into the ring. Malenko cracks him with the camera and Malenko covers to win the US title at 19:13. This was okay. It had some psychology (both guys targeting a body part) that was forgotten by the end. The ending stuff was cool, but the match seemed to lack a certain excitement that you would expect between these two. ***.
-Hardcore Title Brawl-
This is a short match from the May 6th, 2002 Raw. There are already people in the ring, it looks like there was a woman’s match in here. Bubba runs in delivering elbows to Stevie Richards, who I guess has the title, and another one for Jazz. Bubba gets the tables and sets it up. Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb on Stevie Richards to win the Hardcore Title at 1:06. Jazz tries to attack from behind but Bubba catches her and stares her down. This allows Raven to run down and catch Bubba with a trash can lid and DDT him for the Hardcore Title at 1:34. Raven celebrates but is super kicked Justin Credible who pins him and wins the title at 1:47. Crash Holly comes in with a missile dropkick for the pinfall and the title at 2:04. Crash bumps into Bubba and Bubba whacks him with a garbage can. Trish covers him and gets the title at 2:29. Bubba catches Trish but Bubba gets a fire extinguisher in the eyes from Jazz. Trish is powerbombed through the table after he was blinded and this allows Stevie to crawl back and get the hardcore title back at 3:20. Richards runs off with the title. Bubba rubs out his eyes and he sees he powerbombed Trish through the table instead of Jazz. He carried Trish off to the back. That was pointless. DUD.
-Melina vs. Beth Phoenix in an I Quit Match-
I was originally going to skip this but I had a few minutes left in my reviewing schedule. This is from One Night Stand 2008, taking place on June 1st, 2008. I’ve never seen a female I Quit match and according to WWE This was the first one inside their ring. I’ve never actually seen either of these two wrestle. Beth is referred to as the Glamazon, combining beauty and power. Melina has the paparazzi follow her in. She has an interesting entrance where she does the splits and slides in under the ring. Melina starts with a guillotine choke but Phoenix lifts out of it. Melina knees her in the face in response but is caught with a backbreaker. Melina fights back with a bow and error type move but Phoenix won’t submit. Phoenix powers her way to the outside and breaks the hold. Phoenix drives Melina’s back into the turnbuckles once they re-enter the ring. Phoenix puts her in an overhead backbreaker submission but Melina won’t submit. She elbows her way out of it and Phoenix puts Melina in an arm-bar. The fans chant, “We Want Chyna,” and I’m surprised that got onto this. Phoenix chokes her and squeezes her head as psychology goes out the window. Why not work a body part and just attack it until the opponent has no choice but to quit. Melina is able to send Phoenix face first into the second turnbuckle and kicks her shoulder into the ringpost. Melina follows with a arm-bar slam and puts Phoenix into an arm-bar submission before turning it into a cross arm-breaker. Phoenix powers out of it and slams Melina down on her back. Melina’s down now and Phoenix does a sit-down powerbomb (where Melina is face down on the mat) and Phoenix pulls her arms back with her legs tied up in a bow and arrow type move. Melina won’t quit so Phoenix wraps her up again and pulls Melina’s neck back so far it is almost touching her legs. Melina calls it quits at 9:07. That wasn’t terrible. It was Phoenix just destroying her opponent and working the back enough until Melina had to call it quits. ***.
---Week Five---
Since there are five Mondays in December, the guys at WWE Classics.com decided to throw in a special bonus. This is Joey Styles Top Ten ECW Moments.
-Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio for the NWA Title-
This is from the ECW Arena and held on August 27th, 1994, a moment many consider the birth of ECW. This is for the vacant NWA Title and we start with a handshake. Way back then this promotion was called Eastern Championship Wrestling. Scorpio takes down Douglas with a drop toe hold which Douglas reverses into a bow and arrow. Scorpio breaks out and covers for two. They stare each other down before each work a go-behind and Scorpio turns it into a sunset flip for two. Scorpio unleashes a standing 360-leg-drop for two. Scorpio follows with a small package that is reversed three times into two-counts for both guys. Douglas tries a superplex but Scorpio shoves him off and follows with a crossbody for two. Scorpio goes behind with a hammerlock which Douglas counters with a belly to back suplex. He follows with a Camel Clutch. Scorpio is able to lift up Douglas on his shoulders and fell backwards. Scorpio connects with a flying clothesline and a slingshot crossbody for two. Scorpio hits a missile dropkick that sends Douglas to the apron and Scorpio baseball slides him to the outside and into the steel railing. Scorpio whips Douglas into the rail and Douglas flips into the crowd. Scorpio follows and he brings Douglas back to ringside. Scorpio tries a suplex but Douglas blocks and lifts Scorpio up and drops him on the steel railing. Douglas suplexes him back into the ring and covers for two. Douglas misses a springboard crossbody which allows Scorpio to Tombstone Douglas. He misses a moonsault and Douglas hits his belly to belly suplex to pin Scorpio and win the NWA title at 12:52. The match wasn’t spectacular, but ECW was born with Shane’s speech that followed. Scorpio says he’ll be on Douglas’ ass for the belt. Shane gets the mic and says Scorpio is a hell of a competitor. Douglas mentions all the former NWA champs and then tells him to kiss his ass. He throws the title down and doesn’t want a title from a dead promotion. Douglas declares himself the new ECW Champion. The fans start an ECW chant and Scorpio shakes the hand of Douglas to end this. Like I said, this isn’t a match remembered for the actual match itself but for what followed. This wasn’t a terrible match and was technically sound but it lacked excitement and something to really separate it from your above-average TV match. ***.
-Tazz(c) vs. Tommy Dreamer for the ECW Title-
This is one of the latter ECW PPV’s and it was called Cyberslam. It was held on April 22nd, 2000 and was probably the first death-knell for the company. See, Mike Awesome was the ECW champion when he bolted for WCW. So ECW needed a champion that was in its own promotion or somehow related to it and so in a rushed match Tazz won the title from Awesome. The problem was that Tazz was on the WWE roster at the time. So the ECW title went from a WCW guy to a WWE guy. During this time, HHH pinned Tazz clean on one of the TV shows to show WWE superiority and he also held a clean pin over Benoit (the WCW champion right before he left) to really put over the WWE. Anyway, Tazz (now with two z’s) was your ECW title holder and he said he wanted to defend the title against Tommy Dreamer, the longtime ECW wrestler who never won the title. Everyone knew what the ending of this was going to be. This is a good match to put on here considering how Dreamer just recently retired and was given a nice send-off on WWE television. The two shake hands before we start with a lock-up. Dreamer gets caught with a T-Bone suplex and Tazz goes to work with his forearms. We head to the outside where Tazz takes a chairshot to the face. Dreamer sets up a chair to try and baseball slide Tazz with it but Tazz picks up the chair and whacks Dreamer with it. Dreamer whips Tazz into the steel railing as Styles makes fun of Tazz fighting the Mean Street Posse in the WWE. Tazz unleashes a head arm and leg Tazz-plex for two. He tries a belly to belly but Dreamer counters with a DDT for two. Dreamer tries a Spicoli driver but Tazz counters with the Tazzmission. Dreamer counters with a pair of shots to the balls but walks into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Dreamer tries a piledriver but Tazz shoves him down and covers, which Dreamer reverses into a sunset flip for the pinfall and the ECW title at 5:15. This was way too short to be worth much and you can see why ECW was really on the down by now, since you had two champions in a row that held the title when they weren’t actually in the promotion and that is never a good sign. Tazz gets on the microphone and tells Dreamer he never beat him before and mentions some of the ECW notables. Tazz gives Dreamer the belt and says how laying down was the right thing. He does his ECW catch-phrase before leaving. Styles thanks Tazz and WWE on commentary. Tommy gets the mic next and he’s pretty emotional. Talk about a guy who really has his heart in the business. The ECW locker-room empties to congratulate Dreamer. Furthermore, Raven and Dreamer hug it out in the ring to end this. This is another match (which has never been seen before) that was more well-known for the events surrounding it rather than what went on in the ring itself. Let’s calls this *1/2.
-Tazz(c) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow for the FTW Title-
This is from Heat Wave 1998 held on August 2nd and I certainly remember this match. Tazz charges right into a powerbomb but Tazz no-sells and flips off Bigelow. He takes down Bigelow and takes him down again with a pair of clotheslines. Tazz Samoan drops Bigelow but that took a lot out of him. They brawl out onto the entrance ramp and Tazz boots Bigelow off the ramp into the crowd. Tazz follows with splash but he’s caught by Bigelow and Tazz is sent into the steel barricade. Bigelow introduces Tazz to a chair and Tazz responds with rights to the face of Bigelow. There’s a lot more brawling and Tazz suplexes Bigelow down for two. Tazz puts Bigelow in the fuji-awa Arm-bar but Bigelow doesn’t submit and he fights Tazz off and throws him into the stairs and covers for two. Tazz tries the Tazzmission but Bigelow backs him into a concrete wall. Bigelow and Tazz make it back to the ring and Tazz is now busted open. Bigelow props the chair up in the corner and sends Tazz face-first through the table. Bigelow sets up the table again and he tries sending Tazz through it but Tazz counters with a short-arm clothesline and a T-Bone suplex through the other half of the table. Tazz escapes to the ramp and Bigelow follows. Bigelow sets up a T-Bone suplex but Tazz turns it into a tornado DDT that sends Bigelow and Tazz through the entrance ramp. Nothing happens for awhile until Bigelow climbs out of the hole first, followed by Tazz. Tazz is fired up and he leaps at Bigelow, locking him in the Tazzmission. Bigelow immediately taps out at 13:21. This was best known for the final spot but everything leading up to that was boring, with a whole lot of brawling and not a lot of wrestling. It wasn’t a complete waste because that last spot was pretty amazing so that helps out the rating. **3/4.
-Sabu vs. Terry Funk-
This is from Born to be Wired and boy do they mean wired. This is from August 9th, 1997 and really shows why the E in ECW meant Extreme. So there are no ropes here, just barbed wire. Bill Alphonso is Sabu’s manager here. Sabu dropkicks Funk’s leg but Funk takes him down and pounds away. He tries sending Sabu into the barbed wire but Sabu holds up. Sabu tries sending Funk to the ropes now but Funk puts on the brakes and slides to the outside. Sabu stomps at him on the way in and puts him in the Camel Clutch. Funk connects with a headbutt, a neckbreaker and a piledriver for two. Funk DDT’s Sabu and he tries putting Sabu face-first into the barbwire. Sabu does the same but Funk blocks by holding onto the barbed wire. Sabu rana’s Funk over for two but Funk kicks out and sends Sabu right into the barbed wire. Sabu gets his face ripped across the barb wire and he’s a bloody mess now. Funk sends him back into the ropes and even crotches him on the ropes, but really he lands on his inner thigh and not his crotch. Sabu’s pants are shredded open now. Sabu’s sent again into the barb-wire and now his back is shredded open. Sabu reverses an Irish Whip and Funk has his back sent into the barbed wire. Alphonso sends a chair into the ring and Sabu lands a shot to the back of Funk. Funk has his face ripped open thanks to the barbed wire and now Sabu has a piece in his hand. He grinds it into Funk’s face and hits a legdrop off a chair that sends Funk into the barbed wire. Sabu covers for two. Sabu tries another launch from the chair but Funk ducks out of the way and Sabu lands into the barb wire, completely ripping open his bicep. That’s nasty. Funk covers for two. Sabu tapes the gash closed as Funk hits a neckbreaker across two chairs. Sabu springs up, having tapes himself up but he’s quickly slugged down. They brawl on the outside and Sabu has his face ground into the barbed wire. Funk does his spinning heel lock as Alphonso interferes. Funk drags him in, sets Sabu chest first over the barbed wire and he rakes the barb wire across Alphonso’s back. He slugs Alphonso down and to the outside. Funk finds wire cutters and he cuts off a nice long piece of barb wire. He whips Sabu with it and then heads outside to attack Alphonso some more. Sabu snips off strands of the barb wire with the wire cutters Rob Van Dam (the Sabu’s partner) runs in and attacks Funk to buy time and he wraps wire over Funk. Funk is placed on a table and Sabu leg drops him through that table. Dreamer makes his way out and he lays out Van Dam with a trash can lid before DDT’ing him on it and carrying him backstage. Sabu covers Funk inside the ring for two. Sabu sets up another table at ringside. He places Funk on it, wraps himself in barbwire and leg drops Funk through that table. Sabu covers for two. These two are completely wrapped in barb wire by this point. Finally, Sabu holds Funk down and that’s enough to finish this at 20:35. Officials run to the ring to cut the two apart and off the barb wire as the fans cheer. Why would anyone want to even watch this? It was just a bloody mess and wasn’t really wrestling but two guys doing completely unnecessary things to “entertain.” I love wrestling and the athletic aspect of it, and the aspect of a well-executed believable match. This just takes me out of it because it’s a pre-planned fight that was really just two guys chucking themselves into barbwire. It wasn’t an athletic show of competition but two insane people sacrificing their bodies. DUD.
-Sabu vs. Sandman in a Tables & Ladders Match-
This is from ECW November 2 Remember from November 30th, 1997. I have a feeling this will be a total garbage match. We start the match right away with Sabu attacking Sandman at ringside. Why weren’t there any introductions here? Sabu hits an early triple jump moonsault but he lands on Sandman’s knees and Sabu hurts himself in the process, as he usually does. Sabu picks up the ladder but Sandman charges with a forearm. Sandman is already cut open as he throws the ladder at Sabu. Sabu ends up at ringside so Sandman charges and throws the ladder down at Sabu. They “brawl” on the outside with action that is so extreme it can hardly be contained in this match. Actually it’s dreadfully boring. Sandman launches a table at Sabu and then sits down. There’s a table propped up by the edge of the ring and the steel barrier so Sandman lays him on top of it but it breaks before he can do anything. So he goes to a second table and legdrops Sabu through it. Sandman props up the rest of the table on the steel barricade and tries to whip Sabu into it but Sabu reverses that and Sandman breaks the remaining table portion. So Sabu sets Sandman on a table and does a springboard legdrop that sends Sandman through the table. We head back to the ring where the action is laughable. Sabu sends Sandman to the corner and Sandman can’t even do that properly. Sabu connects with a springboard heel kick for two. We end up back outside where Sabu drives a ladder onto Sandman who is laid on a table. Sandman tries a moonsault through the table but Sabu moved out of the way and Sandman goes through himself. Sabu brings Sandman back into the ring and hits a springboard moonsault onto a ladder onto Sandman for two. Sabu heads upstairs but Sandman wobbles into the ropes and Sabu is crotched. So Sandman suplexes Sabu onto the ladder. Sabu is up quickly and chucks a ladder into Sandman and we have a very poorly conceived spot where Sabu was supposed to see-saw a ladder onto Sandman but Sandman blew the spot, again. He still takes a ladder to the back of the head and Sabu covers for two. This is terrible. Sandman blows another spot by leaping over the top rope onto a ladder to see-saw it onto Sabu but that fails miserably. We return to the ring for more boring action. It’s the same thing with these two and these matches. Spot. Rest. Blown Spot. Longer rest. Repeat Spot. Rest. Rinse and repeat. Sabu is propped up on a table outside and it breaks before Sandman even gets to the top of the ladder inside the ring. Sandman does a moonsault I guess that sends both guys through the tables. We end up in the ring and Sabu tries to throw a firebomb but it fails. Bill Alphonso makes it to the ring with the Singapore Cane but that just distracts him long enough for Sabu to hit a heel kick off the top rope. Sandman is set up on the last table at ringside and Sabu dives at him with a ladder that sends Sandman through the table. We end in the ring with Sabu hitting a legdrop off the top with a ladder beneath him and that’s enough to end this crap at 21:03. I don’t know why these guys got 21 minutes but they did and now that is 21 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. This is beyond bad, it is completely unwatchable. DUD.
-Paul Heyman’s Speech-
This was his speech from ECW One Night Stand from June 12th, 2005. This was ECW’s return to PPV, complete with the ECW brick stage and Joey Styles on the microphone. The fans chant, “Thank You Paul,” and Heyman gets a bit emotional. Heyman thanks a bunch of people (including Todd Gordon). He decides to turn hostile and calls out Bischoff in the luxury box. He tells him this is an ECW PPV and not a WCW PPV. He calls out Edge with two words for him; Matt Freakin’ Hardy. That was three words, Paul. He calls out JBL and tells JBL that the only reason he was champ for a year was because HHH didn’t want to work Tuesdays.
-The Bottom Line-
This was really a mixed bag month for me. There were a lot of matches I had already seen; especially the first week of programming and the ones left over really didn’t blow me away for a while. There were a couple of **** matches thanks to WarGames but some of the other ones were interesting choices. I think that this definitely has a niche crowd of hardcore fans but I was never one of them so that may be where my dissatisfaction with this month comes from. Still, for only a few bucks this is a great service and there were some five-star matches on here that I already reviewed so if you keep to the good stuff you’ll be well on your way.
Here’s a rundown of matches I didn’t watch this month.
--Week 1--
--Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Badd Blood 1997)
--Steve Austin & Undertaker vs. Mankind & Kane (Raw 06/15/98)
--Cactus Jack vs. Triple H (No Way Out 2000)
--Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle vs. Triple H vs. Rikishi vs. Steve Austin vs. The Rock (Armageddon 2000)
--Triple H vs. Chris Jericho (Judgment Day 2002)
--Triple H vs. Batista (Vengeance 2005)
All of these fall under the “I reviewed this on the Hell in a Cell DVD” category. If you haven’t seen it you must check out Taker/HBK and Cactus/HHH, as both are ***** affairs.
--Week 2--
--Money in the Bank (Wrestlemania XXIV)
--Money in the Bank (Wrestlemania 22)
--Steve Austin vs. The McMahons (King of the Ring 1999)
I have the two WM matches on DVD waiting to be reviewed and I reviewed the Austin match on the McMahon DVD.
--Week 3--
--Elimination Chamber (Survivor Series 2002)
I was about to do this one, but I decided to opt out and wait for it on the Survivor Series Anthology DVD.
--WarGames (Wrestlewar 1991)
I reviewed this on the Pillman DVD. Basically, Sid almost kills Pillman at the end of a match I gave three stars to.
--Week 4--
--Undertaker vs. Mr. McMahon (Survivor Series 2003)
I reviewed this one already on the McMahon but I have no recollection of ever seeing it. After looking at my rating of it I know why. I gave it a *.
--Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat (Big Event)
This was on the Jake Roberts DVD and from what I recall was a decent match that I rated ***1/2.
--Road Warriors vs. Midnight Express (Starrcade 1986)
I reviewed this on the Starrcade Essential Collection. This match is more famous for the gimmick than the actual match itself, which was terribly boring. I rated it a ½*.
--Week 5--
--Tazz vs. Sabu (ECW Barely Legal)
--ECW Three Way Dance (ECW Barely Legal)
--ECW Originals vs. The New Breed (Wrestlemania 23)
--Tazz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (ECW Living Dangerously 1998)
All of these were done on previous reviews of mine. I did the Barely Legal DVD review a looong time ago, Wrestlemania 23 is one I’m going to get to eventually, and the Tazz/Bammer match is on the ECW DVD.
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