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If you’ve never seen Cheap Seats, you’re missing out. The premise is simple. Two guys go through the tremendous tape library of ESPN, pick something out, sit there for a half hour and rag on it. They find the strangest things. One episode is from a SuperDog Superjocks episode, they make fun of Poker Tournements, Rollerball, Strongest Man Competitions and everything else. The most hilarious episode I’ve ever seen is the Spelling Bee episode and is literally one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on television. They had a wrestling episode focusing on 1980 wrestling so I had to catch it. Here’s a recap:
We’re joined with our hosts: Randy and Jason.
This is wrestling from the mid-south region from 1980
First they show us things to look for:
1) Outfits – if one has no fancy outfit, he will lose.
2) Nicknames – if he has no nickname, he will lose.
3) Physical Fitness – if he’s out of shape, he might not lose.
Iron Sheik actually makes it on the show and he cuts a vicious promo and the hosts assume Sheik is speaking in a Jamaican accent. Sheik runs down the roster (best salesmen ever for the Mid South region). Enough of the fake accent, now for the fake wrestling. Iron Sheik faces Buddy Landell. He has a flashy outfit and there’s question as to if Buddy is a nickname. Randy and Jason get bored and they fast forward. They talk about Sheik bodyguarding and talk about resumes he may have. They have a copy of his bodyguarding resume. They fast forward some more and Sheik gut wrench suplexes him for the pin and the win.
They talk about how making it into the WWE is as tough as making it into baseball and they have some “minor leaguers” to showcase. The first is the Accountant.
They talk about the loudest ring mat in the history of wrestling. They interview a Foley artist. A foley artist enhances the sound seen on a screen and this one specializes in wrestling.
Mike George vs. Crazy Luke Graham is the next featured match. Crazy Luke does everything crazily and he looks to be about 65 years old with no physique at all. They ffwd and Mike George pins him with a forward russian leg sweep (the Stroke). Crazy Larry actually airs a commercial for Crazy Luke’s store. How’d he get that prime spot on ESPN Classic?
Now a game called, Do You Care? They give facts on Iron Sheik and the last one involves him in a comedy club. Pretty funny.
The Great Kabuiki takes on Vinnie Romeo in the next match. Vinnie Romeo is what Ron Jeremy would look like if he worked out apparently. Romeo actually got some good offense in before the ffwd. Kabuiki chops since he’s Oriental and more ffwding occurs. There’s a Rock Bottom Line with Kabuiki facts. Kabuiki wins but I missed the finish. Ted DiBiase is interviewed on the outside before he’d be anything. He’s interrupted by Kabuiki’s manager.
Jason and Randy talk about wrestlers penchant for screwing up the English language. They bring out a wrestler who never makes grammatical mistakes, The Grammer Hammer. The segment really doesn’t go anywhere.
The final match, Ken Mantell vs. Bill Irwin. Ken seems to be wearing a bathrobe. The match is a few seconds in when FFWDing occurs. Mantell finishes with a side Russian legsweep. The boys give out some Cheapies:
Best use of the Bedazzler: Buddy Landell
Best Man Cleavage: Mike George
Best Foreigner: Iron Sheik, Kabuiku and Lou Graham
Overall, this was a pretty bland episode that is nowhere near as good as their other ones. If this is on, don’t watch it. It’s not even that funny.
Final Rating: Pass
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